Trapped inside my house for three days was horrible. I had a lot of time on my hands since I decided to be a diligent student and finish five of my papers on Monday. To pass the time, I wrote a lot while listening to my ipod. Quite dark poems and angry words scrawled across the pages without me really noticing. After taking a second to see what I had begun creating, I was taken back. Such bad, dark things I wrote. Even I myself had not realized how much I had actually kept pent up inside.
This past week has been not well. The past couple of weeks my attitude and irritability has been not well. Many things continue to aggravate me. I just want to yell at anyone who even speaks to me. Healthy, right? I just have this ongoing feeling of anger and frustration. Being stuck in a house with my brother, whose only goal in life is to make mine miserable and to see how pissed off he can get me,just adds on to it all.
And I am stuck here with no escape. No where to run and shield myself for a little while. I am stuck with my brother, with idiot so-called friends, school stress, work stress,self inflicted stress (damn perfectionism).. I'm trapping myself in my own mind with my own cruel thoughts. Maybe it's unintentional that I am cornering myself here, or maybe on a subconscious level it is just one more way I chose to make myself suffer.
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